


Look At Me

by thelordofstarsanddreams



Series: A Tale of Modern Times [4]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Azriel hates his scars, Burns, F/M, First Time, High School, Longing, Loss of Virginity, Mor adores him, Scars, Self Confidence Issues, Sex, Wanting to be together, alternative universe, sex without relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:22:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8000131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelordofstarsanddreams/pseuds/thelordofstarsanddreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Azriel is a virgin, not that he doesn't have plenty of opportunities to do something about it, but his own hang ups prevent him from doing so. Mor is one of his best friends, he trusts her and she's willing to help him out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look At Me

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, even in Modern AU I canon Azriel as having burns only somewhat more severe due to his lack of magical healing. I finished this fic at 2am so if there's a lot of mistakes spelling and grammar wise, I do apologise.

It was as friends that they had made the decision to sleep together.

The choice wasn’t impulsive, nor was it a drunken whim. It was the result of many deep conversations, and a consenting agreement between the two of them.  
Morrigan had only joined their school over a year ago, yet her and Azriel had become so close so quickly. Everyone knew there was something more. Something that extended far beyond a platonic connection. Yet neither of them were ready to explore what that meant.  
The conversation regarding Azriel’s virginity had been the topic of playful teasing at one of the groups night ins. The fault was mostly Cassian’s, the man never missing the opportunity to mock his friend. Azriel was used to it however, and it rarely irritated him, even if he had gotten a little flustered with Mor being there.

When she had questioned him further, it was when they were alone, out of ear shot. The woman hadn’t mocked him, rather she had been genuinely curious as to why he hadn’t ever slept with anyone. Azriel was one of the best looking guys in the school, there was no lack of people who would happily fall into bed with him.

Even with the woman he’d grown so comfortable with, it had been difficult to explain to her why it was he’d been reluctant. There had been people. Touches, kissing, and he’d wanted more but he’d never been comfortable. People saw the scars on his hand, no matter how hard he tried to hide them. The other guys on the football team had seen him changing, seen the way the marks crawled along his arm, upwards over his shoulder, like long fingers reaching for his spine and across his chest. And those who had seen had made sure other people had heard about it.

Azriel rarely went without a long sleeve shirt or jacket, something to cover up the disfiguring marks on his skin, so simply crawling into bed with someone who would expect to see him laid out naked in front of them wasn’t easy. 

The first time Mor had made the suggestion that they slept together, he had thought it a joke. Surely Cassian had put her up to it or it was some way to join in on teasing him. Very quickly however, it had been established that she was not kidding.

The man had brushed her off, not wanting to taint their friendship or complicate anything through sex. The second time, they had been rather tipsy, laying on the floor of Rhys’ living room as Cassian had snored loudly on the couch above them. He had agreed then, in the darkness as her hand had found his scarred fingers, tracing them gently with her own. Frankly, he’d expected both of them to ignore it or forget by the morning but Mor was not one to let things go, and when two days later, she brought up the topic, the two of them sat down to discuss it openly.

Azriel had voiced his concerns; the fact that Cassian had always had a thing for Mor, that sleeping together could make things difficult for them, not to mention that she was Rhys’ cousin, which seemed like it should be one of those unspoken rules.

Yet the woman was considerate, and in the end, insisted that them having sex only had to be a big deal if they made it that way. Azriel needed someone he could trust and be comfortable with, and to put it bluntly, Mor enjoyed sex. So it benefited them both.

They promised there would be no awkwardness, no telling Rhys, or Cassian. It would be between them and no one else.

Everything had been worked out to give them time and space. Rhysand was going away for the weekend with his parents. Mor had been extended a welcome invitation, but she’d insisted upon wanting a quiet few days. Living with her cousin and his family was great, a lot more so than it had been at home with her own relatives, but of course they understood that she needed some time alone now and again.

For reasons Mor didn’t want to think too much into, she was nervous. A tight little twist in the pit of her stomach as she waited for Azriel. Clad in a dressing gown, the woman had opted for a matching set of lacy underwear, deep purple in colour, highlighting the tan expanse of her soft skin. This wasn’t the first time for her, but it was for the other man, and as utterly cliché as it sounded, she wanted it to be special.

There were no candles or romantic music, she hadn’t spread rose petals on the bed or uncorked a bottle of champagne. Fresh sheets were about as good as it got. Yet somehow she didn’t think the man would mind.  
When the door sounded, a delicate knock that could only be Azriel, Mor did her best to sink back into her aura of confidence as she went to greet him.

The man genuinely looked like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. From the second she opened the door, leaning against the frame with one of her bare legs delicately on display, Azriel looked like he was out of his depth completely.

“Christ, Az, don’t look so scared. It’s just me.”  
That’s what this was about. Trust. Familiarity. The comfort of being close to each other.

Something in him seemed to soften, and a slight smile teased on his lips as Mor took his hand, lacing their fingers together as she tugged him inside, letting him close the door.

There was no hesitation as she dragged him towards the bedroom, grateful that she didn’t have to worry about being caught now that the house was empty.  
Leading Azriel to her room, Mor barely hesitated as she settled the man onto the bed, sitting beside him, his hand still clutching tightly onto her own.

“So, how do we, uh, work this?”

The man’s voice was laced with uncertainty, looking as if a single wrong move would ruin the entire evening. Mor however, just laughed, giving a playful roll of her eyes.

“Well, Az, I’m hoping you’ve been to enough sex ed classes to know how this goes,” The tease in her voice had him blushing, a rare achievement that normally only she could manage. “Just relax. You’re okay.”

Offering him up a gentle smile, Morrigan eased her hand from his so she could cradle the strong curve of his jaw, guiding him down to her so their lips could meet.  
It was the first time they had kissed.

Azriel was reluctant at first, acquainting himself to the warmth of her mouth. Mor’s lips were soft and inviting and it didn’t take much for the two of them to relax and ease into it. When they broke apart, they both smiled.

“Have you been practicing kissing with the mirror?”

“Shut up, Mor.”

There was an easy laugh that echoed from the both of them, and in a swift gesture, Mor moved so that she could settle herself on his lap, straddling his hips, kissing him as she took his hands in hers, guiding them to the front of her robe, to rest against the soft silk tie.  
Without further encouragement, Azriel tugged open the robe, sliding the fabric free from Mor’s body, exposing her lace covered curves. Her teeth grazed along his bottom lip as her fingers curled at the edges of his shirt to slip it off over his head, and in an instant, he froze beneath her.

“It’s okay, look at me,” Mor whispered against his mouth before pulling back just enough so those hazel eyes could meet hers. The fear was there. Panic that she would be repulsed by him. That his scars were too much.

Slowly, giving him the chance to protest if he needed to, to stop if he wanted, Mor inched the shirt over his head until she could cast it aside, discarding it on her bedroom floor. There he was. Bare chested and open to her. The burns weren’t pretty. They trailed across his skin like angry fingers clawing along his flesh, along his arm and across his chest. A memory of the past he could never escape.

Without hesitation, without even a glimmer of repulsion, Mor leaned down, pressing her lips to his scarred shoulder, kissing along his skin, across his chest, mapping the lines of the burns. Azriel was still as perfect to her as he had always been.

The fear and worry began to leech from him. Now fully aware that Mor would never turn her back on him, for any reason. This had been the right choice.

Azriel’s hands slid along the smooth curve of her back, finding the clasp of her bra as he tried to open the hooks. And tried. And failed. Interrupted by the low rattle of laughter which echoed from Mor.

“Need some help there?”

The low growl in the man’s throat was the only response she got, and it encouraged another flutter of a giggle from Mor as she reached around to unclasp the bra herself, letting it slip down her arms so she could add it to the clothes on the floor.

Almost immediately, Az’s mouth found the curve of her breast, trailing kisses along the supple flesh before sucking a hard nipple into his mouth and a near surprised gasp escaped Mor. Frankly, she hadn’t expected him to settle into the bold gestures, but his confidence was definitely building and his mouth felt delightful.

“Good, just like that,” Her words were spoken in soft praise right against the shell of his ear, finding his hand and guiding it between her legs until his rough fingers teased along the fabric of her panties. That was what she wanted. More of him.

Azriel swallowed her moan as he kissed her again, easing her underwear aside, getting to feel her for the first time, wet and hot against the tips of his fingers. In an almost commanding gesture, Mor pressed her hips down, until his thumb nestled along her clit and he finally slid a finger within her.

Understandably, his fingers were a little clumsy, not quite certain that what he was doing was right, but she guided him, making sure he knew when he did something that she approved of. Her own hands went to the front of his pants, swiftly undoing his belt, unfastening the buttons of his jeans.

Before Mor could try and ease them down, Azriel had slid his hand away from her, sliding his arms around her so he could forcibly move her, laying her down on the bed. Wasting no time, she arched her hips to push her panties down and kick them off as the man untangled himself from his jeans and boxers.

“Come here,” Mor beckoned him, happy to take a moment to admire him and his body. Azriel was beautiful. Scars and all.

The man kissed her as he settled down onto the bed, this time between her legs. He was heavy and warm against her and she wanted to drink him in.

With one fingers tangled in his hair, Mor stretched for her bedside table with her other hand, finding the condom she’d left there. When it came to sex, she was always prepared.

Warm lips settled at her neck as she worked open the wrapper, hands slipping between their bodies so she could slide the condom onto him, smirking at the length of his cock as she traced her finger along him. Oh he was definitely impressive. The world had been missing out.

Mor couldn’t help but love the fact that she was his first.  
Angling herself beneath him, Mor hooked her leg around his hip, arching her own towards him, until finally, Azriel slid inside of her and she groaned, gripping at his strong shoulders.

It wasn’t long, or earth shattering, but she savored every second of having him inside of her, of being that close to him. It was perfect. He was perfect.

When he came, it was with her name on his lips, spoken so lovingly and she held him closer, wrapping her legs around his waist to hold him inside of her for a little longer, cradling him.

Mor peppered kisses to his forehead, his cheeks, against his lips, stroking his hair back from his forehead.

Having him pull from her felt like such a loss and she missed him immediately, but with a little sigh, she rolled onto her stomach, propping her chin on a pillow, watching him as he fixed himself before laying back on the bed with her.

“Congratulations. You’re officially no longer a virgin,” Mor grinned at him, and Azriel returned the smile, reaching out to stroke the blond curls which tumbled along her back.

“Thank you,” The gentle honesty in his voice was far more touching than Mor wanted to deal with so she gave a soft shrug, propping herself up on her elbow.

“Don’t mention it. But what I’m thinking is, we order pizza, stuff our faces and then go again. Because I’ve got a free house and half a box of condoms left so, why not?”

There was a moment when Azriel was silent, watching her stunned, because he really was more certain than ever that he loved her. More than he would probably ever love anyone.

“Sounds perfect.”


End file.
